November's National Novel Writing Month is a challenge where writers work daily to reach a goal of 50,000 words by November 30th. The general daily goal is below 2,000 words, which to me doesn't seem terrible. I have been a member of NaNoWriMo's website for about seven years at this point. I signed up in 2012 when I was a senior in high school. Back then I was almost positive this goal was unattainable as a seventeen year old still applying to colleges. I figured the year after would be a better time to actually participate.
The following six years were, in a word, disappointing. I had ideas for novels I wanted to write, but never enough time or motivation to sit down and write them out. A big problem, especially in the last few years, has been mental illness. Anxiety has kept me from even trying to start on my goal. The clearest memory I have of this is 2015's NaNoWriMo, where I convinced myself that I'd fallen too far behind and should give up. I didn't want to get all the way to the end of the month without that 50k. God forbid I get through the month with a substantial word count but not that coveted 50k. I gave up after three days.
The following year I found NaNoWriMo's word-sprint twitter account. Throughout the day, different staff members and interns for NaNoWriMo will take over the account and give writing challenges. The times range from about ten minutes to half an hour, sometimes accompanied by prompts to use in that time. It kept me on track for the few days I actually wrote.
I am now knee deep into my sixth NaNoWriMo, and it is the most successful one so far. Right now I have about 2,000 words less than the goal, but I'm not all that worried. What finally hit me after seven years is that this is just a challenge. It's not the end of the world if I do not hit 50k. I'm just trying to write. This whole seven year journey has been a lead up to the conclusion that I will not die if I do not win.
I have a very hard time letting go of completionist tendencies. Breaking a streak and not getting an achievement absolutely breaks my heart when I play games where I know I can easily get an achievement. That's why seeing the word counter graph on the NaNoWriMo website is so frustrating and exciting at the same time. As I mentioned, I am behind on my goal. The graph is very good about showing me this.
I needed a break yesterday, so I decided not to write too much. I definitely added to my word count, but it was only 323 words. Not great. Even this morning I felt discouraged by this black line telling me how far below the goal I was.
I am only 2.5k words below today's goal.
This is not that bad.
I know I can get back on track if I write a little extra for the next few days until I get back to the goal. Hell, it'd be fine if I just spent most of today writing before I have to do other things. I don't have that much going on where I can't sit and write. The only thing barring me from this is my own anxiety about not getting to the goal.
This is why this November in particular, November 2019, is the best and worst month so far. It's going to be a battle between my anxiety brain and my rational brain. My project this year is a compilation of writings. Most of it has been stories about my D&D characters, stories I rush into with little thought behind them, and some stories I've had in the back of mind that I've been wanting to play around with. Also this blog is going into my word count for today. Life made it difficult to do any prep in October, which is most of the reason I'm not doing a novel this year. This year's goal is just to hit 50k, and so far I've been more motivated than I have been in the last few years.
NaNoWriMo is good, but it's also nerve wracking. If you are like me and let your anxieties get in the way of your writing, do your best to push through it. Not trying is a guaranteed failure. It's better to come out of this month with a great word count than nothing at all.
To anyone else participating in NaNoWriMo this year, remember not to push yourself too hard, and have fun. Worry about editing later, hit your word goals now. Even if you can't hit your daily goal, you can always keep writing later. If you hit your goal after November, guess what: you still hit your goal!
Keep writing and take care of yourself. Have a great November!